Spread Thin

Through the many activities I am undertaking, the Lord has been telling me a couple things: I need more faith and I need more discipline as the Lord is pushing me towards more responsibilty and leadership. Through the many activites I am undertaking I have crowded my mind and ears with people so that I cannot quickly hear God's voice in my life because my spiritual ears are dull and hard of hearing.

My occupation as a college student makes it extremly easy to explore in the area of faith. I have little to lose for the time being except my personal well-being. I am getting married soon, so that time period is drawing to a close. I can no longer stay up whole nights playing video games and keep going with relative no consequences. However, this brings to mind the exortation of the Lord Jesus to deal shrewdly with the little things of this world so that I can be entrusted with the great things of heaven (Luke 16:10).

This last thought also brings to mind a tie to the second thought. If this time is a time of small personal risk and opportunity for faith, then I may be in utter disobedience. I do not feel displined or focused. My occupation of "student" does not lend itself to a very defined focus area of ministry, so in one sense I could excuse myself for my frequent savaticals from my ideal focus areas of ministry, i.e. Zoe, my Bible study, crusade bros, church, and roommates (these are the people with whom I am in most frequent contact). However, the second area in which the Lord is leading me seems to directly coorelate with the first. I am being a poor steward of my time in many cases. You may be thinking, "Kyle, don't be so hard on yourself," and you might be right, but I know that God is calling me to higher leadership; He is not calling me because I am a great natural leader (at least not in my estimation) but because I am beginning to understand that a leader is someone who knows Jesus and who wants to commit their lives to the purpose of showing others the Master and leading them closer to Him.

I need to stop being a poor steward at this very moment and write a small two page response to a novel for tomorrow because I began to write because I could not concentrate in the first place. Pray for me. If you can understand my difficult and unclear line of thought, what is your main purpose? What is your chief end? Consider giving all of your service to the Lord Jesus through whatever occupation you find yourself in now.